Friday 22 June 2012

50 RPG Encounters on the Road

Is your party every bumbling around from one location to the other? Ever wonder what was supposed to happen on those journeys besides weather? Never fear, the answer is here! (So long as the answer is absolutely ridiculous).

***50 RPG Encounters on the Road***

Challenger1. A beggar who's actually a shape-changed demon.
2. A woman who's actually a shape-changed harpy.
3. A highwayman attempting to return stolen valuables to the guy he stole them from.
4. A giant magical glowing rock. It hums louder when a bomb.
5. A rift to another dimension.
6. A pile of dead bodies arranged in a pentagram and with ever-burning magical flames licking them.
7. An illusion of a ten mile deep chasm stretching to the horizon.
8. A toll booth requiring all magic items be surrendered to enter the country.
9. A goblin warrior proclaiming himself the "King of Thieves". He carries a dagger and can whip the party's ass.
10. A lake of molten lava.
11. An archway that calls a 10d6 lightning bolt whenever passed under or around.
12. A massive hedge maze, invulnerable, cast by a nearby mad enchanter.
13. The villain of the adventure en-route to another evil deed.
14. An army camps here.
15. A strange, glowing magical fog.
16. A fifty way intersection marked with bad directions to odd locations.
17. A deserted city made completely of glass which appears out of nowhere in the middle of fog.
18. A parasitic dimensional traveler who will accompany the PCs until attaching to one and sucking his life out. Any attempt to remove him will harm the character he's attached to.
19. A company of knights on a quest which turns out to be hunting the PCs down for a crime they didn't know they committed. The knights don't recognize them and insist they join the 'noble quest' to capture the 'evil criminals'.
20. A mysterious cloaked and hooded stranger who pitches over dead at the character's feet before he can do anything.
21. A beat up princess screaming and fleeing a fire rhino ridden by a knight in molten armor.
22. A tyrannosaurus rex chasing down a triceratops.
23. A chest lies forgotten in the middle of the road. Inside is a cursed magical artifact or treasure best left untouched.
24. A skeleton lies at one side of the path. It shakes it's head as if to say 'don't go this way' when someone tries to head north.
25. A band of 20 storm giants who are incredibly stupid and bad at math. When they capture travelers they can be 'paid off' for 1 copper coin a head.
26. Part of the road turns to quicksand and pitches the party to the bottom of a 1,000 level dungeon before sealing up over top of them. The mad laughter of their most hated enemy echoes magically in their ears.
27. A peasant demands the party accompany him and listen to his tales of pigs. If any refuse he becomes enraged and whips the whole party's butt.
28. A thief runs by holding an overflowing magical bag of at least 250,000 gp. Seconds later what appears to be every magical law enforcer in the universe comes yelling by while screaming: "He went that way!"
29. A magical floating Inn owned by a halfling named "Weird Joe" who attempts to sell the PCs fire wine which is literally 99% alcohol on fire.
30. A rainbow bridge to some weird magical dimension.
31. A wagon stuck in the mud. Anyone who helps out learns the wagon is carrying bricks of gold on their secret mission to ransom a prince. The wagon driver gives several bricks to the party for their help in the mission.
32. A tank rolls by and fires a shell at a space fighter. Several seconds later everything appears normal and they're both gone.
33. A woodsman asks for directions to an old woman's cottage so he can attack a Werewolf.
34. A vampire with an umbrella runs past screaming his head off about forgetting his sun tan lotion.
35. A landmine.
36. A merchant who follows you everywhere insisting he was going that way anyway and tries to sell you stuff.
37. A really annoying bard who insists on joining the party.
38. A magical river of energy bisects the road in which undead ghosts scream as if in mortal agony.
39. A crashed alien spaceship has struck near the highway.
40. One copper coin lying on the ground. What luck!
41. A dead magic user clutches a scroll in his stiff hand. It says something very important...
42. Several chariots blow by screaming after a large wild boar "In the name of the Prince!"
43. A time rift appears to another timeline.
44. A portal opens and 1d20 demons spring out. The leader says, "This isn't the slave city?" Then they grab the PCs as a substitute.
45. A tree falls over on the road. Then a fireball blows up the tree. It appears druids and fire wizards have started a war here with the road and the party of characters in the middle.
46. An annoying writer shows up and tries to sell the party his book. He proclaims it the, "Most awesome best thing since Swiss Bread."
47. Several very drunk and beautiful women stumble out of the bush on the side of the road and mistake the PCs for famous millionaires (hey, this is fantasy, right?)
48. A sundial is in the middle of the road. When turned it turns the entire globe except for the sundial with a great shaking noise. A large voice says "Oops" and the sundial disappears.
49. The road ends with...nothingness. What happened here? How can the PCs still make it to their doughnut shop/destination?
50. A crazed halfling, starved out of his mind, attacks the party and rips their packs apart with his teeth in search of food. He cannot be fought or the party will be severely beat up in his hunger-maddened state.

...1001 RPG Quotes

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